In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

(via thevirginofmenace)

15 April, 2014

Anonymous asked: YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID READ THE BOOK ASSHOLE. HE CLEARLY STATES THAT ONE PACKET OF CIGARETTES LASTED HIM 3 YEARS DICKWAD, DONT JUDGE A CHARACTER THAT IS MEANTTT TO BE PRETENTIOUS ON A TINY SNIPPET OF A MOVIE YOU CLEARLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

why would i want to read a john green book i love myself

15 April, 2014

silenthill:

*puts my bro’s dick in my hand*

see, its a metaphor. it’s only gay if i jack it

(via chiaroscuro)

15 April, 2014

http://britishauthor.tumblr.com/post/82842936185/mountainboats-okay-so-the-thing-about-augustus

mountainboats:

okay so the thing about Augustus Waters is that he’s this ridiculous asshole who talks in circles and never lights his cigarettes because he’s so full of important metaphors and he’s just this pretentious dick of a character right except he’s not he’s not he’s insecure and…

Why does this embarrassing af essay only have one period?!!!

http://franciscogoya.tumblr.com/post/82842177106

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

certifiably-better-than-you:

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

i cant stop laughing at that the fault in our stars clip like hes buying cigarettes and never smoking them as a metaphor??? bitch if you gonna be pretentious find a way to do it for free dont make…

martinskrtels:

imagine an argument between zlatan and kanye about who loves themself more

(via elamoresblanco)

15 April, 2014

credit